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公共汽车上很拥挤,一个瘦子和一个胖子站着。瘦子说】了下。

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发表于 2014-12-31 17:38 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
        有没有懂跑车的朋友,求推荐一款400万到800万的跑车,要求性能好,起步快,马力大,舒适性高的,外观时尚又好看的。我拿来当手机纸壁。

        老婆:“早点睡吧!今天我太累了,不和你多聊了...”老公:“我怎么听,屋里还有别人动静呢!”老婆:“你出差!我一个人寂寞,叫闺蜜(小雪)过来陪我;怎么地!不相信我呀!要不,我叫闺蜜跟你说两句!”老公:“不用了!老婆!我相信你,早点睡吧!”放下电话后,老公看着身边老婆的闺蜜(小雪),抽了一宿的烟……

        本人苦命高三党汉纸一枚,顶着巨大的压力,冒着巨大的危险进行早恋…有一次下雨,小女友撒娇说冷,遂脱下外套借她穿了,过了一星期拿回来的,也没看就拿回家了。第二天,老妈给我洗衣服,在口袋里翻出了两块姨妈巾…………我脸绿了,我妈脸黑了!!

        某男请几个同学去常吃饭的酒店。饭店老板问:“今天老婆没来?”一女同学拍桌子吼道:“老娘就是他老婆!你说的那个女人是谁?”老板慌忙出去了。全桌人爆笑,这男尴尬问她干嘛开这种玩笑,女同学说:“你就等着打折吧。”吃完饭去结帐,老板抱歉地说:“真不知道之前你带的是情人,跟嫂子说我认错人了,这顿饭我请客,实在对不起!

        李:“王总,你别管了,我来我来。” 王:“不行不行,李总太见外了,我来我来。” 李:“哎!每次都是王总你来,今天无论如何得我来了。” 王:“别别别,上回在上海就是你来的,这是在北京,你就让我尽一回地主之谊,我来我来。” 公交司机:“你们两个赶紧投币!后面还有人等着上车呢

        要是不好好奋斗,就不能养儿子,因为如果有一天儿子说“爸爸,我把同学打了,他家长要5万医疗费。”我就可以说“什么!要5万!给你20万,再打3次!!”为了成为这么棒的爸爸,我要好好奋斗了!加油!


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